Relationships
NOTE: This was written by one of my friends as a fresh perspective. Enjoy!
Let’s start with a little anecdote shall we? The summer before high school started I was a blossoming little soon-to-be freshman ready to walk through those hallowed halls of high school and come one step closer to college, adulthood, and liberation. At that point I didn’t know how much I’d have to go through to get there. During that summer I got my first boyfriend. (Saying it like that makes it seem like I just caught a shiny Magikarp.) You have to understand that I don’t have the most experience with relationships as the longest one I was in lasted a good three months and that's because he was in China for most of the summer. It was nice ya know, but we ended it because we were better off as friends. And by that point I thought I was pretty expert at relationships. I’m not.
High school starts and I’ve been talking to this guy on Facebook. It’s pretty chill; he’s witty and philosophical and it just started out with me helping him with his girl problems anyways. It should start to turn you off, however, when the guy asks you out online. Big red flag. But alas I was dumb and wrote it off as beginner’s mistake and pursued it. Do not pursue relationships that begin online because, even if you know the person in real life, something’s just not the same. They’re more awkward in real life, they’re more distant. There’s a lot of physical affection lost in “LOL” or Facebook stickers, shocking I know. But take it from someone that’s pursued a relationship started online that ended because it was too awkward to talk about why we thought it was awkward in real life. Write it off as silly and immature if you’d like, but that’s the truth. And it wasn’t even talking about why it was awkward that made the relationship go south, it was his misunderstandings. He didn’t understand that I wanted to be friends with other guys and that even if those guys liked me I would be loyal and only like him. Nope, instead he thought it was better to say “Oh, my friend thinks you’re a bit of a slut when you talk to other guys” or “Why are you so friendly with him, but not me?” That’s when you stop the relationship and stop taking crap from anyone. How dare they say you can’t surround yourself with people that make you happy? Know your self-worth and own it. Don’t carry around those labels they selfishly dump on you.
And even after that relationship I didn’t really learn. That same guy that my ex got jealous of became my new boyfriend. The thing about rebounds is that you think “Oh, he’s not my rebound” in the moment and then instantly once it’s over you know in your heart that it’s a rebound. It sucks for both parties. One of the hardest experiences is just living through it and knowing not to do it again.
And after that there was another guy. He was nice at first, but even though I was in that third relationship at the time he always tried to get me to complain about my boyfriend. Steer clear of these snakes because they’re everywhere. They don’t care if they’re your rebound for your rebound. They just want you or the idea of you anyways.
Just know your self-worth. Know that you shouldn’t fall for pretty words and then let yourself be trampled and suffocated by ugly ones under obligation. Sure it sounds easy talking about it in retrospect, but, at the time, those were some dark days. I just don’t think a lot of people are ready to date in high school. If you are then good for you. If you know you’re not really able to pursue a proper, open relationship because of your parents or something, don’t do it. You and the other person would be better off without the added stress of hiding a relationship. Wait until you’re actually ready and can treat the other person right. Don’t let Facebook stickers become your expression of admiration and love. Do yourself a solid; sit yourself down and really ask yourself if you really want this relationship, if it’s healthy for you, and if it’s built on a solid foundation.
-NS
Let’s start with a little anecdote shall we? The summer before high school started I was a blossoming little soon-to-be freshman ready to walk through those hallowed halls of high school and come one step closer to college, adulthood, and liberation. At that point I didn’t know how much I’d have to go through to get there. During that summer I got my first boyfriend. (Saying it like that makes it seem like I just caught a shiny Magikarp.) You have to understand that I don’t have the most experience with relationships as the longest one I was in lasted a good three months and that's because he was in China for most of the summer. It was nice ya know, but we ended it because we were better off as friends. And by that point I thought I was pretty expert at relationships. I’m not.
High school starts and I’ve been talking to this guy on Facebook. It’s pretty chill; he’s witty and philosophical and it just started out with me helping him with his girl problems anyways. It should start to turn you off, however, when the guy asks you out online. Big red flag. But alas I was dumb and wrote it off as beginner’s mistake and pursued it. Do not pursue relationships that begin online because, even if you know the person in real life, something’s just not the same. They’re more awkward in real life, they’re more distant. There’s a lot of physical affection lost in “LOL” or Facebook stickers, shocking I know. But take it from someone that’s pursued a relationship started online that ended because it was too awkward to talk about why we thought it was awkward in real life. Write it off as silly and immature if you’d like, but that’s the truth. And it wasn’t even talking about why it was awkward that made the relationship go south, it was his misunderstandings. He didn’t understand that I wanted to be friends with other guys and that even if those guys liked me I would be loyal and only like him. Nope, instead he thought it was better to say “Oh, my friend thinks you’re a bit of a slut when you talk to other guys” or “Why are you so friendly with him, but not me?” That’s when you stop the relationship and stop taking crap from anyone. How dare they say you can’t surround yourself with people that make you happy? Know your self-worth and own it. Don’t carry around those labels they selfishly dump on you.
And even after that relationship I didn’t really learn. That same guy that my ex got jealous of became my new boyfriend. The thing about rebounds is that you think “Oh, he’s not my rebound” in the moment and then instantly once it’s over you know in your heart that it’s a rebound. It sucks for both parties. One of the hardest experiences is just living through it and knowing not to do it again.
And after that there was another guy. He was nice at first, but even though I was in that third relationship at the time he always tried to get me to complain about my boyfriend. Steer clear of these snakes because they’re everywhere. They don’t care if they’re your rebound for your rebound. They just want you or the idea of you anyways.
Just know your self-worth. Know that you shouldn’t fall for pretty words and then let yourself be trampled and suffocated by ugly ones under obligation. Sure it sounds easy talking about it in retrospect, but, at the time, those were some dark days. I just don’t think a lot of people are ready to date in high school. If you are then good for you. If you know you’re not really able to pursue a proper, open relationship because of your parents or something, don’t do it. You and the other person would be better off without the added stress of hiding a relationship. Wait until you’re actually ready and can treat the other person right. Don’t let Facebook stickers become your expression of admiration and love. Do yourself a solid; sit yourself down and really ask yourself if you really want this relationship, if it’s healthy for you, and if it’s built on a solid foundation.
-NS
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